Into The Blue

The walls are closing in.. The pressure's now really on. "I gotta work hard from now on.. gotta pull out all the stops.. and I might still be in with a chance." The monologue keeps playing in my mind from time to time.. yet my actions are always contrary. Homeworks left all the way to the midnight hours.. Semester projects? Not an idea in place. What's more? I've been behind in a couple of classes for quite some time now, yet I've never bothered to really catch up.

At this point, I can only sit back and contemplate why it is so.. Amidst all this, I manage to find time to enjoy myself.. ping pong, long nights at the Bog, movie nights, Japanese anime, dramas, soccer (both playing and 'fanboy'ing) and so on.. So I guess it's not that I don't have the time with the 19-credit hour load for the semester..

Do I just not care about my academics anymore? Don't think so.. that's certainly not me. Not with all that effort I end up putting into every assignment, albeit during those very last moments. Grades.. well in this regard there's been a significant change.. I don't care as much about my grades as I used to a couple of years ago.. It's more of what I really end up learning, and if I really think it's useful or piques my interest.. I don't know if it's for better or worse though, but judging by the current slide in my grade potential, this is probably gonna mess me up. That still doesn't explain why I leave things to that very last moment.

As I continue to wander pointlessly about what is really up (wasting precious minutes with which I can get some things done), I come across a message I randomly put up on my Gmail 'status' some time back.. "Kuhan loves the thrill of last minute work."

The spiral of thoughts comes to an end.

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill