Yet again I abandon this barren space. Thoughts are plenty, but my indifferent nature coupled with my overt contemplation of the impact of what I write results in.. well, next to nothing being written here. Why am I so indifferent about so many things? Sometimes it really seems life would be so much easier if I just picked a side on issues without too much thought, yet that really would be out of the realms of my character. Whenever an argument for one side of a debatable issue is brought up, I immediately tend to argue for the other. Perhaps it's a product of my seemingly constant need to appear self-righteous. After all, I have been exposed to and been highly appreciative of such ideals throughout my years growing up.
Perhaps it is this indifferent nature of my thoughts that in fact manifests into my fickleness. When my mind is unoccupied, it is cavitated by thoughts of all the 'what-ifs'.. all those roads that just went by without me ever knowing what life could have been.. and I cannot help but blame my indifference.
Ever so often you might catch me gazing into nothingness, barely a twitch of the eyelids as I contemplate the many things in life. Random thoughts that cover a rather wide range of things. That constant need to know - so often I see its virtue in how it has and continues to shape me as an engineer. If I was to advise another engineer the first thing I'll probably tell him is to never be afraid to think. Yet in retrospect I do realize that there is a tendency to 'over-think' and in effect make things a lot more complicated than they should be. Then again, if it is possible to see those very things in such complicated manners, then perhaps they aren't as simple as we may assume them to be..
Ah, what a beautiful yet torturous dilemma.
P.S: A more 'relevant-to-real-life' post on my new project at work coming up soon. :)
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