2016 - Looking Back

In a few minutes what we commonly define as a year will end, and give way to a new one. After a string of more upbeat years prior, 2016 began under grey clouds.

Volcanic clouds of Mt. Merapi, Indonesia

It wasn't long before the sun began to eke its way past the clouds, and shower us with glimpses of light.

Batu Caves on Thaipusam. A monkey sits perched upon a street lamp as it watches the sunset. 

As the dire days continued, it was perhaps a good idea to spare a thought for the less fortunate and remind ourselves that we truly are blessed, and things could be far worse.

My first street-feeding experience with Street Feeders KL

Slowly the year began to build a rhythm of its own, as it March-ed past condensed moments of joy.

My home-made birthday cake courtesy of my cousin Yamuna

Some of my own simple resolutions made at the beginning of the year began to come to fruition, as I picked myself up and set about getting a better grasp of my own fate.

Blast from the past: Meetup with Joe & Michelle after long.

Blast from the past part deux: Caught up with the elusive Guruparan. Also managed to schedule a meetup with Khairun (who I hadn't seen since 2004.. that's VI days!) 

There was also the effort to not lose sight of all that is green. The trails we traversed this year were wetter than before, yet less strenuous on our ailing knees.

Hike with Ison's church mates to a waterfall at Hulu Langat

Spotted a swarm of Rajah Brooke's birdswings by the river at Selangor State Park

The main goal though was to move on to different pastures, and pray that they'll be greener (for I lost all hope that there would ever be any semblance of grass where I was). As the country celebrated the anniversary of its independence (albeit rather muted in nature), I scored a little triumph of my own as I managed to exonerate myself of the painful chores at Aker Solutions..

My new second home

While the joys of the year began to grow, so did the bottled spirits in my collection, and their subsequent potation. This year I finally managed to build on my collection to the point where I'm comfortable hosting cocktail nights - and host I did, some of those wonderful people I met during my time at Aker Solutions a week after Deepavali.

Drink cards for the cocktails I prepared that evening

The PSV (Pimms, Sugar, Vodka)

A few other events worth mentioning: Ran a half-marathon at the KL Marathon this year; Attended Cheng Khang's wedding in October, Samantha & Jason's wedding in December; Took a trip with Alvin to Singapore to meet Kwong Hann in during my short break between the jobs. There weren't much, but I truly cherished those little moments of joy in 2016. 2017 does sound a lot more exciting though, and I guess it's nice to start on that upbeat note. :)

Goodbye 2016. Hello 2017!

Merdeka

Hari Merdeka.. a day when we have celebrated what it means to be Malaysian every year. A day that remembers the euphoria that engulfed the nation once as its independence from British rule was announced, culminating in Tunku Abdul Rahman's shouts of "Merdeka" echoing around Dataran Merdeka.

The perceived importance of the day has certainly changed over the last decade, as Hari Malaysia (September 16) has taken on a more prominent role.. a day that wasn't even a holiday 7 years ago. This year's celebration especially seems to be marred by talk of why Sarawakians and Sabahans should celebrate the day given they weren't part of the nation that gained independence on Hari Merdeka back in 1957.

Troubling thoughts.. divisive thoughts. I still dream of a day when we all identify as Malaysians.. not Malays, not Chinese, not Indians, not Bumiputras, not Johorians, not Sarawakians. We may take pride in our roots and ethnic heritage, but that doesn't give us the right to be bigots.

Selamat Hari Merdeka, Malaysia. May we break these man-made barriers that divide us, and celebrate our similarities and differences. Here's to unity, in diversity.

On a mildly related note, I have finally liberated myself from the clutches of the krAKERn. What is difficult is leaving the amazing people I've been privileged to work with. 6 years.. it feels like a graduation of sorts. Now I'm off to what I hope are greener pastures. Time will tell. Ta!

2012: Resolutions Reviewed

So last year I did actually end up making a list of resolutions. So for formality sake, bear with me as I attempt to cross-off those I managed to achieve over the last year. GREEN for those met, RED for those I didn't manage to.

- Jog at the park/go to the gym twice every week

I certainly jogged a LOT more than the previous years, although I wasn't able to maintain the 'twice-a-week' routine past March. By the month of October there were already about 5 weeks when I made NO jogs or trips to the gym. Anyhow, I feel I've gotten myself into the rhythm and habit of jogging periodically and I'm just gonna try to maintain the same attitude this year.

- Get back in touch with 5 friends I haven't met for more than 2 years

At first this one seemed a little difficult, but come the year's end many of those studying/working abroad returned home so I easily beat the '5-person' mark. Credits of course goes to Ying Bing and Ren Chung.

- Complete 5 poems

Managed 3 new ones, plus one inspired adaptation of Taylor Mali's "What Teachers Make." I'm gonna make my own leeway here and say I managed this one - on the count I got a couple of articles published in my company magazine. :)

- Finally watch Lord of the Rings trilogy

I ran this one close, but I DID IT! Just before I watched The Hobbit at the theaters I ran through the extended version of the trilogy (thanks in no small part to Ho Sui-Jon) within 5 days. Bliss!

- Complete the Haruhi Suzumiya light novel series

I managed to finish 8 of the novels. Frankly by the end of March I figured this would be the most easily attainable, but I somehow never managed to start on the 9th book (DIssociation of Haruhi Suzumiya).

- Join Institute of Engineers Malaysia (IEM)

Decided against it somewhere in the middle of the year, since I realised I didn't need to join it to attend the courses. However after completing 2 of the 3 mandatory courses required prior to a PE application I began to seriously consider it.. and after much thought I think I should just join this year. Anyhow, I guess this counts as a 'fail.'

- Attend 3 job interviews (Not implying I'm leaving my current job, but I think it is essential that I keep my options open and have a good gauge of my own value in the market for engineers)

Went for 2. Half-hearted attempts as usual. In retrospect this resolution wasn't something I thought through proper. I'll leave it there.

- Play ping-pong (believe me.. tougher than it sounds)

Tough it was, but come the middle of the year we managed to find a place next to Viva Home Mall where we could play, and voila - the resolution was achieved! Credits to the awesome Amy Lim.

Ok.. so I managed half of them fully, and had some considerable progress on the others. So it's all good, right? Ah heck. I'm pleased with myself, and that's all that counts! *denial mode*

Perhaps I don't need to resort to such lame excuses come next year. Right! Onto the 2013 list then!

2012: Life in Aker Solutions

What possibly painted the most vibrant shades to the year are the multitude of outings with my colleagues. It certainly made my day job feel a lot more meaningful. The following are a few of those I embarked on this year.

Hiking Trips - Bukit Tabur and Bukit Saga. 

Musical Outings - Great Baritone Arias at Dewan Filharmonik Petronas; Jason Mraz concert at Stadium Merdeka (credits to Zamir Ramli).

Skytrex Shah Alam - where I somehow managed to overcome my life-long fear of heights for half-a-day.

Runs - 10K run at the Standard Chartered KL Marathon (credits to Clara Anne); Terry Fox Run with a host of colleagues (probably takes the prize for feel-good event of the year).

Jogs Around KLCC Park - Not as consistent a feature as most of us would have liked (hindered at times by rain, and work), but we still made a significant number of jogs whenever we could.

Meteor Showers - Failed attempt at catching the Perseids (we ended up playing Mafia instead which is fun in its own right), before we caught the spectacular show of the Geminids in December.

Karaoke Sessions - I frankly lost count of how many sessions we had this year, but I figure it'll be in the order of 10.

Blood Donation - I finally realised I was born to give blood being an O+. Special thanks to Zehan Edreena.

Weddings - We took time during the weekends to attend wedding ceremonies of colleagues - namely Akissha, Selvan Adhirai & Fikree Kamil.

Sports Tournaments - Volleyball, Futsal, Bowling - no great victories worth mentioning, yet so much fun!

Badminton Sessions - Something we organised on Fridays, taking advantage of Aker's introduction of the '4 and a half day' workweek. Much fun. Special thanks to Zarul Fahemy.

Ping Pong Sessions - This was one of the New Year resolutions that I achieved. Special thanks to Amy Lim.

IEM Mandatory Courses - 'Safety & Health at Work' followed by 'Code of Ethics.' Only 'Engineering Management Practice' remains, after which I'll properly embark on my journey to becoming a Professional Engineer.

Oil & Gas Exhibitions - World Gas Conference (WGC) and OGA.

Movie Outings - easily 30 movies watched this year. There was a movie outing on most Wednesdays of the year. Truly impressive stuff. Credits to Abdullah Yasin & Zarul Fahemy. There were also a couple of Movie Marathons organised by Humaira and Lenard at their respective residences.

Lunches & Dinners - TOO MANY to list!

Here's to another year of memorable outings together! :)

A Nice Break And A New Year Dawns

Before I begin, let me delve into something I feel will set the tone for the rest of the year.. especially considering I shall never bring the topic up again.

Exactly twelve years into the new millennium. Back then, when we were transitioning into 2000 A.D doomsday predictions were aplenty, and the dawn of 2012 has been peppered in similar fashion with talks about the world's end. This time though.. the recent advent of serious natural disasters along with the effects of global climate change has added substance to these predictions. The question of whether I do believe in any of the predictions, is truly irrelevant. Here's why. There is no way to validate these claims until the predicted doomsday actually dawns upon us, and the reason (or reasons, as a certain movie suggests) manifests itself. If it does end up being true, and destiny deems that it be so - we are all powerless to change anything. So.. there really is no reason for us to change how we carry on with our lives this year.

Hence, I plan to get through this year like it is just another year - even though for me personally there'll be silver overtones to go with it. Last year I didn't come up with a list, so no formal review of resolutions this time around. What I did realize - and should apologize for - is the worryingly low number of posts in the blog in comparison to previous years. For the first time, I went entire months without a single post. Perhaps it is a sign of me committing a little too much at work, as much as it is of me neglecting my passion for writing.

In retrospect, there were a number of things I managed to accomplish over 2011, ranging from zero-medical leaves at work to dishing out favors to the people around me. Of course there was also that small achievement of scaling Mount Kinabalu, one I've managed to document adequately on this blog. What is most important though - is how I have managed to set things up to plan for achievements this year. I believe I've managed to reach a certain comfort zone at work, which gives me a license to pursue other interests, be it work or non-work related.

So... here goes a rendition of things I will attempt this year, given work doesn't take a sudden U-turn to hell..

- Jog at the park/go to the gym twice every week

- Get back in touch with 5 friends I haven't met for more than 2 years

- Complete 5 poems

- Finally watch Lord of the Rings trilogy

- Complete the Haruhi Suzumiya light novel series

- Join Institute of Engineers Malaysia (IEM)

- Attend 3 job interviews (Not implying I'm leaving my current job, but I think it is essential that I keep my options open and have a good gauge of my own value in the market for engineers)

- Play ping-pong (believe me.. tougher than it sounds)

That's about all I could think about for now. As much as I can tell myself that this list is by no means complete, prior experience indicates the chances of me ever updating my resolution list within the year is close to zero. I guess there is a lot more panache' to the items on this years list. Heh.

Have a great year everyone, and here's to my writing growing in quantity and quality. :)

New Tide At The Workplace

Since about a month ago, there's been a fair bit of changes ringing around the Process department. What catalyzed it all is the multitude of projects that Aker has taken upon itself within an incredibly short time. From the one major Kebabangan platform project (which mind you is only 'almost done'), the department's minute manpower has been barraged with one new project after another. As of now, we are handling 6 parallel projects and maximum overtime week-in week-out is quite frankly the norm these days.

A few new faces have been added to the fray to aid us in even having a chance of seeing all six projects through in time, and there's to be a few more. A few of us are even working on multiple projects. As for me, I've got the Cendor FPSO Phase 2 Detailed Design project to keep me up for the next half a year. From day one, the project has spelled trouble, but I feel it is truly a challenge that I relish, and getting through it would simply make me.. better. The responsibility is a little daunting at times, but I feel with that little extra effort which I am still able to afford at this juncture in my life - things should be alright.

Here's hoping I don't burn out with the massive hours I clock in every week (id est 12 hours a workday on average).

The Weakend

Been long since I walked home from work under sunlit skies.. months to be frank; till yesterday. Ah, but yesterday was a Saturday.. It would seem that my string of 5-day work-weeks had come to an end, but little did I expect to be walking into the office on Sunday as well.

Gone the week, gone the weekend;

A draining streak, as I lay weakened..

Perhaps it was incredible subconscious foresight; perhaps it was purely coincidental luck. Whatever it may have been, I have ended up with the Monday as an off day. I desperately needed the break. Working 12 days straight is unthinkable, at least for now. There is learning - lots of it. Then there is more learning, and it never seems to end. It's an uphill slope - but I won't lose hope.. Hope that these pains be appreciated, and bring forth the gains.

The Excuse for Unpaid Hours

The usual error, the usual excuse. I really can't seem to start blogging on a more regular basis, let alone fix any form of blogging schedule. The days really seem to be pretty random. Not that I am complaining, as that bit of variety in life is simply a wonderful thing to have. Work days haven't changed much though - the usual 12 hours a day, 5 days a week.

Ah yes the 12 hours a day on average. Some stare in disbelief, some question my sanity. I've offered a host of different responses (mostly on a lighter note) but the truth is there are just so many reasons that I don't know where to begin. First there is the fact that I learn so much more by just spending those extra few hours per day at work. I am also able to get more stuff done and as a consequence get more work assigned to me, which simply means so much more experience in a shorter period of time.. Perhaps I overwhelm myself a little at times, but it is those moments that I can look back at and take pride in having traversed.

Next by staying late, I am able to exude my true commitment to the team, as I've always attempted to no matter which team I've worked with. I just feel that much more satisfied when I've given it that extra bit of effort. A happier stroll back home, and a sounder sleep at night. Speaking of happier strolls back home, the fact that I travel by public transportation to and fro plays a part in the equation as well. By going to work a little earlier and leaving later, I escape the hordes of people rushing in and out of the monorail as well as the buses. I usually refrain from pushing myself through crowds to get into the trains even if that's what almost everyone else does, so the whole thing just translates into a shorter, more peaceful journey home for me. :)

If that isn't reason enough, there is the quieter office environment to work in as well as a better opportunity to get to know some of my colleagues who stay back a little better. In addition to this, there is my boss who tends to stay late with us to make sure things get done. Despite everything I might have against her style and manner of management, her commitment to the work is truly exemplary, even without considering her relatively debilitating disability - rheumatoid arthritis. Of course to go with all this, getting back early just means extra hours on the TV and lazing around - at least for the time being (goodness I so need to find myself a LIFE).

Despite all this, one might easily tell me I'm not getting paid for putting in those extra hours every day. True in the short term, and if you only consider the salary as a 'payment.' When I see things in the longer run though, my thoughts become clear; and any doubts on my intentions disappear..

Muffled Voids

Another year and yet another empty, meaningless Valentine's Day. The only thing that bothers me though is my curiosity, but this I can definitely live with. After a week-long break from the depths of work, life in the office suddenly seemed dull. Something was certainly amiss, and my characteristic drive to work was a mere shadow of itself during the first few days after the break. Things have picked up since, but if my intuition is anything to go by, I can expect a joyride down the hellhole over the next few weeks.

Ambiguous assertions aside, I feel the need to up the ante in my quest to affiliate myself with the world. I spend way too many hours at work these days, yet there isn't much value in those hours for the alternative would simply be more hours watching TV or surfing the net mindlessly. I've always thought of myself as an introvert, and as such have figured that I should have no problems pushing myself. Then why all this procrastination? Why do I lack motivation?

What happened to those days when I went to bed knowing I'd made the most of my hours? I miss that feeling... satisfaction.

My December

Another two weeks and another year draws to a close. Nothing has really changed with regards to my job, except perhaps that I'm getting used to the constant pressure that can drive one nuts (it seems that is just what happened to one of my colleagues.. sigh). The general advise is for me to stay on for a couple of years or so, but I can't help wonder if I would be much better off leaving as soon as possible. After all, the imminent effect such stress can have on my long-term health is a worry. Either way.. time shall tell.

On a more positive note (yeah you have to wonder if there is to be any significantly positive note on my job lol), tis' the season to be jolly.. I guess it's nice to have a much warmer December after 4 winters in the US, although the lack of an end-year trip does bother me. There was New York, California (LA & San Francisco) and last year's trip to Las Vegas.. ahh, they bring back such sweet memories. Nevertheless, one can never complain at the chance to end the year with the family at home.

It would appear the blog is devoid of images - perhaps a lot of it has to do with the lack of time I spend these days with the camera (which my sis seems to have taken ample advantage of lol). There haven't been too many outings though for me to capture moments of, but on the bright side it makes me appreciate every meetup with old pals all the more. For instance last weeks randomly planned meetup with the APD guys: Hoong Kit, Vincent & TS for some dinner and bowling..

I haven't shed much light on my wonderful colleagues at work here. Remember.. my problem with my current job mostly stems from the boss, and in all honesty I've met a few gems of characters amongst the people I work with. A proper writeup on them is due, though given how many times I've said things in similar fashion without any action to follow - I wouldn't blame you for taking them with a grain of salt. Anyhow, these are jolly days, and I'm not about to let any troubles (like that darned boss of mine lol) suck the joy out of it.

Ketchup - Worklife

So a month and a half it's been, with no update whatsoever ever since I began my job. Frankly, a LOT has happened and naturally I'm finding it quite difficult to single-out a starting point. Perhaps chronology would make a good guide..

I began with Aker Solutions on a rainy morning. The first half day was pretty relaxed, though not many employees were at the office since they were away for their extended Hari Raya break so I wasn't able to make the most of the time to socialize. Anyway, come the afternoon and I was hit with my first load of work. The instructions from my boss were very vague, but I managed to figure out the job slowly thanks to the help of some colleagues. As some of you are aware of by now, my initial impression of the job isn't really a positive one - which is definitely a worrying sign. I generally don't like to whimper, and tend to be quite adaptive to any environment I'm thrown into.

Then what is the problem here? Well for starters, and perhaps most importantly, I'm finding it quite impossible to gauge my boss' actions and reactions. The snide remarks by people from other departments don't do me much good either. Then there's the 'expectation' to work for longer hours without getting paid for it, which isn't a problem except that new engineers like me won't get our overtime hours sanctioned for pay, and I frankly am not sure till when. Either way, crazy long hours have become a norm for me now week-in week-out. What bothers me most though, is the negative environment that the department operates in. Everyone seems to work to avoid problems, rather than to achieve something. To put it bluntly - negative reinforcement. You do well; life goes on. You screw up; you'll never hear the end of it!

Of course, there are the occasional exceptions to the norm, but if my month-long assessment is anything to go by - then my description above isn't too far off. On the bright side, I've met quite a few wonderful individuals at my workplace who have been easy to get along with. I also don't sense any internal politics within the department, but then again there wasn't much room for internal political games in the Nazi administration under Hitler either. Hah!

Having said all that, I don't mind the long hours for now as I don't have too many external affiliations other than family and friends (yet.. lol). Perhaps it's about time I look to explore new hobbies, or rekindle some old ones. I shouldn't lose sight of this blog though, and I hope I can find more time to update more frequently (especially considering it's one of my resolutions! lol). I can't say much about what I'll do in these coming months. Two companies that I had applied for earlier have re-contacted me asking that I reconsider their offer one with an offer equal to Aker and the other potentially better in terms of pay (with fieldwork which is awesome but it's a less-recognized local company which is perhaps my only qualm). I ain't no quitter though, so I'm gonna keep going down this path for now, and learn as much as I can. Perhaps, better avenues lie ahead..

Embarkation

Tomorrow, I shall begin as an employee of Aker Solutions. Needless to say, first-week jitters are aplenty. Part of me is excited at what awaits (or could await me, for that matter).. Part of me is nervous for not knowing what it is that awaits me. I guess time will tell.

You can certainly expect an update on what my work is like soon. At this point, I simply want to thank all who prayed for me, inspired me and believed in my potential to this point. I shall not let you down, nor forget how blessed I am to be amongst such wonderful company.

Till more moments fill this sweet lifetime of mine..

A New Path Paved

Finally.. after much awaiting, and perhaps surprisingly a lack of drama - I am officially employed. It was quite the wait, but I believe it was well worth it.. then again, only time can judge the truth in that statement.

So to break it down in a compressed manner.. 16 interviews, which is inclusive of 3 2nd interviews; and as a result of that 3 job offers. I did cancel 4 of them though.. some due to diminishing interest, some due to the fact that I already had job offers. Either way, I will begin working with Aker Engineering come Mid-September. It's basically an oil and gas consultancy and I believe it'll provide me with excellent learning opportunities. As some of you may already know.. I am NOT looking for stability.. I am not looking for easy money.. I want a steep learning curve; a challenge if you may, for I believe this is when I am primed to learn and grow as an engineer - something I made pretty clear during all of my interviews.

Finally.. an opportunity to prove my worth. This is by no means a reason for overt celebration. A brand new journey begins here, and it is time for me to prove to myself (and the company) what I am truly capable of..

Perseverence

Alright.. so it has finally come to my attention that there has been no update with regards to my last days in Chicago, let alone my one-day stopover in Istanbul - especially considering it has been a month since then. Before I get to that to appease some of you, there are a few updates with regards to.. well, Me.

I recently lost my right to claim unemployment, although it wasn't exactly in the way I had imagined I would. For starters.. it is hardly the starting point of a career. Having said that, I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity to get off my ass and actually do something useful. I am.. a clerk for a road construction company stationed at the site office in Temerloh, Pahang. The town is truly an ambient and peaceful one, untainted by the many things that pollute cities like KL.. And yes, I do expect you to read between the lines here. I've got a really nice work environment though and the benefits are pretty cool. Oh and the best part is I can opt out of the job when I get a better one and am also free to take off for interviews. You shall hear more about this newfound affiliation of mine soon.

Now then.. I am still technically jobless, and am actively looking for a job. The wait is killing me.. I really do wonder... what do You have in store for me?

Starting Anew

The days away from home are over.. for now at least. Perhaps I'll change those words that has underlined my blog's name for almost 3 years now. Perhaps not.. if my career is to begin away from home, that is. Either way, I have been starved of that perfect job to kickstart my career, so much so I'm even contemplating some wild compromises in my dreams.. Ahhh.. how I wish it wouldn't have to go to that. I must say that pride and ego of mine (or whatever's left of it) has taken quite a beating over the past half a year.. I tend to wonder if I am even good enough..

Tough days these, and such thoughts don't make things any easier. I'll never forget these days though.. and I hope that somewhere in the near future, they serve but to keep my feet firmly on the ground. I will not wilt though.. no, not now. Not ever.

On another note, I owe quite a few friends a round of apologies.. I have been back for quite some time yet I haven't contacted any of you, let alone met up with. Well, partly my pride deems that I get that all-important job first before coming face-to-face with ya'll.. On the other hand, I don't want to deepen this hole I've been digging each passing jobless day through my family's coffers. Heh. How bout' that for some resolve? Call it stupid.. call it a manifestation of my repressed ego.. doesn't change a thing.

Whatever it is the future may hold..
I will not fade, I will not fold..

Perhaps a little on the somber side, but these slow days call for such notes. I promise you a much, much happier post, sooner or later.