Merdeka

Hari Merdeka.. a day when we have celebrated what it means to be Malaysian every year. A day that remembers the euphoria that engulfed the nation once as its independence from British rule was announced, culminating in Tunku Abdul Rahman's shouts of "Merdeka" echoing around Dataran Merdeka.

The perceived importance of the day has certainly changed over the last decade, as Hari Malaysia (September 16) has taken on a more prominent role.. a day that wasn't even a holiday 7 years ago. This year's celebration especially seems to be marred by talk of why Sarawakians and Sabahans should celebrate the day given they weren't part of the nation that gained independence on Hari Merdeka back in 1957.

Troubling thoughts.. divisive thoughts. I still dream of a day when we all identify as Malaysians.. not Malays, not Chinese, not Indians, not Bumiputras, not Johorians, not Sarawakians. We may take pride in our roots and ethnic heritage, but that doesn't give us the right to be bigots.

Selamat Hari Merdeka, Malaysia. May we break these man-made barriers that divide us, and celebrate our similarities and differences. Here's to unity, in diversity.

On a mildly related note, I have finally liberated myself from the clutches of the krAKERn. What is difficult is leaving the amazing people I've been privileged to work with. 6 years.. it feels like a graduation of sorts. Now I'm off to what I hope are greener pastures. Time will tell. Ta!

Of A Birthday..

So another birthday has passed.. leaving me with a head full of reminiscence and a broken bout of reticence. Despite how hard I try to see it as just another day, my mood is lifted on and around my birthday - betraying the placid demeanor I endeavor to exhibit on a daily basis. Which got me thinking; what is it about a birthday that excites me?

Perhaps it is the waves of joyful recollections from the yesteryears. Perhaps it is the well wishes from the many wonderful people I've come to know over the course of my life? Perhaps the humbling realization of how blessed I am to have truly lived another year of my life. Then again... perhaps it is a bit of all - joyful recollections triggered by thoughts of the wonderful people in my life to remind me of how blessed I really am in this life.

Another day it may be.. but one that never fails to bring to mind all that is truly important in life.

Subtle Divergence

Perhaps I traverse an endless trail;
Perhaps my mind wanders through past and present;
Perhaps my heart yearns for a slope ahead;
Perhaps my limbs hope it's a downward one;
Perhaps I stop, to turn and look back;
Perhaps all I can see then are flat paths;
Perhaps I shrug my shoulders and continue along;
Perhaps I see a fork in the path ahead;
Perhaps one trail looks no different from the current one;
Perhaps my gut tells me to take the other;
Perhaps I listen to my clairvoyant belly;
Perhaps I find that elusive slope;
Perhaps I find it to be an upward one;
Perhaps I smile, and stroll on.

Perhaps it is time I rid myself of the uncertainties;
Perhaps I should simply expunge the beginnings.

The Weakend

Been long since I walked home from work under sunlit skies.. months to be frank; till yesterday. Ah, but yesterday was a Saturday.. It would seem that my string of 5-day work-weeks had come to an end, but little did I expect to be walking into the office on Sunday as well.

Gone the week, gone the weekend;

A draining streak, as I lay weakened..

Perhaps it was incredible subconscious foresight; perhaps it was purely coincidental luck. Whatever it may have been, I have ended up with the Monday as an off day. I desperately needed the break. Working 12 days straight is unthinkable, at least for now. There is learning - lots of it. Then there is more learning, and it never seems to end. It's an uphill slope - but I won't lose hope.. Hope that these pains be appreciated, and bring forth the gains.

The Excuse for Unpaid Hours

The usual error, the usual excuse. I really can't seem to start blogging on a more regular basis, let alone fix any form of blogging schedule. The days really seem to be pretty random. Not that I am complaining, as that bit of variety in life is simply a wonderful thing to have. Work days haven't changed much though - the usual 12 hours a day, 5 days a week.

Ah yes the 12 hours a day on average. Some stare in disbelief, some question my sanity. I've offered a host of different responses (mostly on a lighter note) but the truth is there are just so many reasons that I don't know where to begin. First there is the fact that I learn so much more by just spending those extra few hours per day at work. I am also able to get more stuff done and as a consequence get more work assigned to me, which simply means so much more experience in a shorter period of time.. Perhaps I overwhelm myself a little at times, but it is those moments that I can look back at and take pride in having traversed.

Next by staying late, I am able to exude my true commitment to the team, as I've always attempted to no matter which team I've worked with. I just feel that much more satisfied when I've given it that extra bit of effort. A happier stroll back home, and a sounder sleep at night. Speaking of happier strolls back home, the fact that I travel by public transportation to and fro plays a part in the equation as well. By going to work a little earlier and leaving later, I escape the hordes of people rushing in and out of the monorail as well as the buses. I usually refrain from pushing myself through crowds to get into the trains even if that's what almost everyone else does, so the whole thing just translates into a shorter, more peaceful journey home for me. :)

If that isn't reason enough, there is the quieter office environment to work in as well as a better opportunity to get to know some of my colleagues who stay back a little better. In addition to this, there is my boss who tends to stay late with us to make sure things get done. Despite everything I might have against her style and manner of management, her commitment to the work is truly exemplary, even without considering her relatively debilitating disability - rheumatoid arthritis. Of course to go with all this, getting back early just means extra hours on the TV and lazing around - at least for the time being (goodness I so need to find myself a LIFE).

Despite all this, one might easily tell me I'm not getting paid for putting in those extra hours every day. True in the short term, and if you only consider the salary as a 'payment.' When I see things in the longer run though, my thoughts become clear; and any doubts on my intentions disappear..

Ketchup - Worklife

So a month and a half it's been, with no update whatsoever ever since I began my job. Frankly, a LOT has happened and naturally I'm finding it quite difficult to single-out a starting point. Perhaps chronology would make a good guide..

I began with Aker Solutions on a rainy morning. The first half day was pretty relaxed, though not many employees were at the office since they were away for their extended Hari Raya break so I wasn't able to make the most of the time to socialize. Anyway, come the afternoon and I was hit with my first load of work. The instructions from my boss were very vague, but I managed to figure out the job slowly thanks to the help of some colleagues. As some of you are aware of by now, my initial impression of the job isn't really a positive one - which is definitely a worrying sign. I generally don't like to whimper, and tend to be quite adaptive to any environment I'm thrown into.

Then what is the problem here? Well for starters, and perhaps most importantly, I'm finding it quite impossible to gauge my boss' actions and reactions. The snide remarks by people from other departments don't do me much good either. Then there's the 'expectation' to work for longer hours without getting paid for it, which isn't a problem except that new engineers like me won't get our overtime hours sanctioned for pay, and I frankly am not sure till when. Either way, crazy long hours have become a norm for me now week-in week-out. What bothers me most though, is the negative environment that the department operates in. Everyone seems to work to avoid problems, rather than to achieve something. To put it bluntly - negative reinforcement. You do well; life goes on. You screw up; you'll never hear the end of it!

Of course, there are the occasional exceptions to the norm, but if my month-long assessment is anything to go by - then my description above isn't too far off. On the bright side, I've met quite a few wonderful individuals at my workplace who have been easy to get along with. I also don't sense any internal politics within the department, but then again there wasn't much room for internal political games in the Nazi administration under Hitler either. Hah!

Having said all that, I don't mind the long hours for now as I don't have too many external affiliations other than family and friends (yet.. lol). Perhaps it's about time I look to explore new hobbies, or rekindle some old ones. I shouldn't lose sight of this blog though, and I hope I can find more time to update more frequently (especially considering it's one of my resolutions! lol). I can't say much about what I'll do in these coming months. Two companies that I had applied for earlier have re-contacted me asking that I reconsider their offer one with an offer equal to Aker and the other potentially better in terms of pay (with fieldwork which is awesome but it's a less-recognized local company which is perhaps my only qualm). I ain't no quitter though, so I'm gonna keep going down this path for now, and learn as much as I can. Perhaps, better avenues lie ahead..

Perseverence

Alright.. so it has finally come to my attention that there has been no update with regards to my last days in Chicago, let alone my one-day stopover in Istanbul - especially considering it has been a month since then. Before I get to that to appease some of you, there are a few updates with regards to.. well, Me.

I recently lost my right to claim unemployment, although it wasn't exactly in the way I had imagined I would. For starters.. it is hardly the starting point of a career. Having said that, I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity to get off my ass and actually do something useful. I am.. a clerk for a road construction company stationed at the site office in Temerloh, Pahang. The town is truly an ambient and peaceful one, untainted by the many things that pollute cities like KL.. And yes, I do expect you to read between the lines here. I've got a really nice work environment though and the benefits are pretty cool. Oh and the best part is I can opt out of the job when I get a better one and am also free to take off for interviews. You shall hear more about this newfound affiliation of mine soon.

Now then.. I am still technically jobless, and am actively looking for a job. The wait is killing me.. I really do wonder... what do You have in store for me?

Starting Anew

The days away from home are over.. for now at least. Perhaps I'll change those words that has underlined my blog's name for almost 3 years now. Perhaps not.. if my career is to begin away from home, that is. Either way, I have been starved of that perfect job to kickstart my career, so much so I'm even contemplating some wild compromises in my dreams.. Ahhh.. how I wish it wouldn't have to go to that. I must say that pride and ego of mine (or whatever's left of it) has taken quite a beating over the past half a year.. I tend to wonder if I am even good enough..

Tough days these, and such thoughts don't make things any easier. I'll never forget these days though.. and I hope that somewhere in the near future, they serve but to keep my feet firmly on the ground. I will not wilt though.. no, not now. Not ever.

On another note, I owe quite a few friends a round of apologies.. I have been back for quite some time yet I haven't contacted any of you, let alone met up with. Well, partly my pride deems that I get that all-important job first before coming face-to-face with ya'll.. On the other hand, I don't want to deepen this hole I've been digging each passing jobless day through my family's coffers. Heh. How bout' that for some resolve? Call it stupid.. call it a manifestation of my repressed ego.. doesn't change a thing.

Whatever it is the future may hold..
I will not fade, I will not fold..

Perhaps a little on the somber side, but these slow days call for such notes. I promise you a much, much happier post, sooner or later.

March-ing On

Opportunities.. what more do I need before they come knocking? Impatience is finally setting in, but I cannot give in. Here's to a more positive outlook..

A couple of weeks ago I went skiing, for the first time. A whole day of it, and I'm still pretty bad at it, especially given how I almost lose control of my left leg at times.. odd, but true. It's tons of fun alright, especially the falling.. Ahh, the joy of falling onto the pure white snow that blankets the mountain. I lost count of the number of times I fell, but I did acquire a sense of control of my skis somewhere along the way. Then there was yesterday's musical at school - the Fantasticks, and old and simple play that is relatively open to interpretation. I was a quarter of an hour late for it, and hence missed the best part of the musical - the rendition of "Try to Remember." Anyway, I thought it was pretty well-staged given the props and infrastructure at their disposal and the fact that they were all students. I still yearn, though to watch a professional musical, and live through that magical experience.

I had also been following the Winter Olympics at Vancouver over the last two weeks. NBC's coverage was pretty disappointing, and the obvious bias in their commentary didn't help matters. Yet the event itself was a great one. This was the first time I really followed the Winter Olympics, and it was quite the learning experience for me as I picked up on the rules of sports such as curling, the dangers of the luge and bobsled, the absurdity of the biathlon, the pure speed of short-track skating and the violent adrenaline of ice hockey.

It's finally March.. is it too much to ask for a little green?

Undergraduate No More..

After 15 years of classes, assignments and examinations - I'm finally prepared to take on the challenges of the outside world, or at the very least I hope that is the case.. :s

This final semester has provided me with a befitting closure. This includes me accepting my introverted nature, and how it is hardly the "great deficiency" I have been trying to overcome all these years. Perhaps I would write on this in greater detail, but this is not the post for that.

This is indeed a critical point in my life, and as much as I would like to reminisce on the bittersweet moments that have spiced-up my life as an undergraduate at IIT, I have a whole new frontier before me to tend to. It is finally time to puts the bits and pieces together, and stride toward achieving my humble goals.

I will not wilt, I will not bend,
Till I see through, this journey's end..

_________ . _________

I really need a full-time job now. These next few weeks are gonna be crucial, yet somehow - I'm goin' to Vegas next week! (WTH!) Oh well, I guess a short break would do me some good, and heck.. If I could make a good load of the greens at the casinos, then I wouldn't even need a job, would I? :D

Then again, who am I kiddin'.. It's not in my nature to ride my luck so I doubt I'll be betting insane amounts at any point. I haven't even won a lucky draw before! *cries*

That's about it for now, folks!

Fins Aviat!

The Freescale Experience - A Summary

My first experience in a real working environment is finally over. 2 whole months just flew by. The following is a summary of this experience..

On my first day, I only had a rough idea where the Freescale building was located for I used to see it on my way to college when I was studying at Inti College Subang Jaya. It took me half an hour to find my way around the huge building, and reach the entrance which was located on the other side (not facing the Setia Jaya KTM station). It didn't take me long to figure the shortest route, and it was to be a 10-minute walk to and fro everyday, plus a 40-minute ride on the KTM each way. It really isn't an exaggeration (or any attempt to butter-up anyone.. lol) when I say that I was always enthusiastic to get to work. Perhaps, it was because it was only 2 months.. perhaps, it was because I wasn't constantly burdened with difficult assignments. Even so, I was happiest on the days I was tied down with work, rather than not having anything to do and just walking around the assembly line purposelessly with an unmistakable feeling of being patronized.

So what have I really accomplished within these 2 months at work? Well, I worked on a couple of projects - namely the TBGA substrate wash and the foreign matter mapping; the latter being where I feel I actually made a significant positive difference. I also helped out my colleagues with their work whenever I could, and in the process learnt a lot about the whole semiconductor packaging process. Not to mention the gems of people who took the time and effort to explain to me the fundamentals of the procedures and processes in various operation lines, ultimately giving me an idea of the bigger picture.

Technicalities aside, I also had the opportunity to make an observation on the workplace environment, the management system and its effectiveness. There are a number of people who seem very dedicated to the job, and have the company's well-being as their foremost priority. For these people, the extra hours they work does not seem to be an issue. In a world where selfishness and a lack of vision has gotten the human race moving along a different direction, I must say it was heartening to know that there still are people who give their all in their profession without much fuss. No, I do not think these people are fools who are naive and won't survive in today's 'competitive' world.. I believe they are visionaries, who see things in the long run.. who know that their tireless, hard work would lead to the company's progress, and in turn their own well-being as employees. The same goes for any institution. Take for instance an educational institution. It doesn't matter how great a school/college/university it may have been to date. What matters is the mind-frame of the people in it. If all of them are positive thinkers who see the glass half-full, then even the worst of schools would "miraculously" transform into a legendary institution. All it takes is a positive mind (minds in this case), and even more importantly - patience.

I also observed the importance of teamwork, and the need for a caring and understanding supervisor. Frankly, I learnt a lot about this, and a lot more in my Industrial Psychology class last semester. However, they were all in theory, and I am ever so grateful for being given a chance to observe them in practice, and in cases also experience them myself. No, I didn't learn much about things related to my major (Chemical Engineering, for those of you who may have forgotten.. tsk tsk), but I believe I've gained something more important than just an internship. Hence I take this opportunity to express my gratitude to everyone at Freescale who have made my 2 months at the company truly unforgettable. Thank you!

Well well well.. we have a slightly longer than usual post here, so with nothing much to add, I think I'll wrap things up here. Adieu!

P.S: To those of you in Malaysia, I've only got another 2 weeks to go here, and I'm quite uncertain as to when I'd be coming home again, so please let me know when you're free and we could hang out some time soon. Take care!